The Benefits of Losing

There have been several times in my life when I lost. By this I mean that I had a different desired outcome than what actually happened. In every one of these situations, there was pain, but I often ended up with some benefits, too. I tried to learn from what happened, I discovered new possibilities, and I learned to go on. As the old Timex watch commercial used to say, “It takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.”

In the recent election, I voted for Harris. When the results were in, this felt like a big loss to me. 

The American electorate apparently feels that they can do better than the traditional values and institutions that have brought us to our present privileged position in the world. Many are saying that those who voted for change want the entire system taken down — remove all the guardrails. Foreign policy, immigration, economic policy, health care, social safety nets — these voters want them all changed. But the problems that they are designed to address won’t go away. Trying to go back to a different time (“great again”) simply doesn’t recognize the speed of change in the world. Unless what replaces current policy is significantly better, there will be a call for another change. But the disruption may create significant pain in the meantime. 

The pundits who are using 20/20 hindsight on the election say voters turned out for the economy, immigration, and as a backlash against liberal policies that they see as going too far to the left — mandated DEI trainings that make whites feel guilty, transgender children competing on sports teams, or the anger-generating masking requirements that were part of the fight against COVID. What they get in return for their votes is yet to be seen, but Trump’s rhetoric gave me the impression that his solutions to these problems will mostly feel like knee-jerk returns to policies that have been shown not to work, or that create larger problems. 

Our nation is becoming more diverse, transgender people are not going away, we need to use scientific solutions to fight disease and climate change, trickle down economics doesn’t help the middle class, tariffs will increase prices for goods, and immigrants are needed to fill jobs in a growing economy. So far we haven’t found wonderful solutions to any of these issues, but I am concerned that the answers that Trump espouses will end up hurting more than they help. 

In Mexico, when asked about their government, lots of people laugh and say “corrupto” — corrupt. I always believed that we would never say that about the United States. But the election of Trump puts that belief into question. We will now have a convicted felon in the White House who will use the power of the office to avoid the other charges against him. He will likely pack the courts with his followers who will work to put their thumbs on the scales of justice. 

Maybe the recent election just brings what we already knew out into the light: greed, corruption, and selfishness are everywhere. This has always been true, of course. We used to call it sin. 

As I’ve been thinking about this, I am realizing that one benefit to this loss, possibly the biggest benefit, is that it will turn many people, myself included, back to our religious roots. There is a way to continue to do the right things in the face of a society that is on the wrong path. Christianity — authentic Christianity, not Christian Nationalism — has always been countercultural. In the face of our nation’s turn to a focus on itself and its material prosperity, it will be individuals who will need to step up for the least, the last, and the lost. While immigrants are shut out from a country that was built on immigration, it will take committed people to reach out to them with resources and ideas that no longer flow from the government. While groups of people are demonized and blamed for the nation’s problems, it will take a concerted effort to protect human rights and dignity while we search for reasonable solutions. As threats and violence are accepted as ways to impose one’s will on another, we will all be called to develop peaceful means to disagree and promote an ordered society again. 

My belief is that none of this is new. Even in America’s short history, we have seen rancor and divisiveness, and even civil war. In the Bible, Jesus talks about it all the time. He called out those who were oppressing others, he opposed the injustices of the time, and he showed people their own shortcomings. He worked to bring people closer to God, and he did it by caring for them. Now it’s our turn to follow his example. 

So I want to talk about how we should act after the election. I have two points:

1. Continue to stand for what you believe. 
2. Be kind. 

Stand for what you believe.

People line up behind their chosen candidate for all kinds of reasons. Just because your candidate loses doesn’t mean the issue you were interested in is a lost cause. It also doesn’t mean that there is nothing more to do. It’s important to note that one can support issues that are embraced by both the right and the left, at the same time. It’s also possible to have a lousy candidate that has some good ideas. In our polarized political world, we tend to demonize the other side. But it’s likely that both sides want to ease poverty, to make life better for their children, and to cure disease. They may have different ideas about how to do those things, or they may be misinformed, but that doesn’t make them evil. 

I know that there are some bad people out there. I believe that in the long run, the bad guys lose. This idea is informed by my faith. But the long run can be far away. Nowhere does it say that good triumphs quickly, or that positive changes are maintained forever. If there’s anything that I’ve learned, it is that you can’t give up. Even when success seems impossible, you have to keep pushing on. If you do win occasionally, you can’t rest on your laurels, either.  There will always be more to do — either to change things or to maintain them. So no matter how the election turned out for you, we have work to do. There are more people to help, more ideas to promote, and more things to learn. 

Kindness

There are plenty of people who believe that the only way to achieve their goals is through force. They see brute strength as the answer to every problem. But force is often met with resistance, which leads to conflict. 

There are other ways to create change. Dripping water can make enormous rocks disappear over time. Persistence in a specific direction is remarkably effective. I’ve seen minds changed by humor and by example. My parents, who were born just before the 1929 depression, didn’t understand same-sex attraction for years. But they met some of my friends that they liked, and discovered that they were gay. They read about some of the things that they didn’t understand. They got confused, they struggled, and somehow, over time, they changed their views. This wasn’t a complete transformation by any means, but there was a shift. 

My belief is that as we move forward as a society, we need to practice more kindness. The conflicts that we experience today result primarily from one group trying to impose their will on another. If instead we were trying to understand each other, we might find new and different solutions that would benefit everyone. And if it became clear that one side was working for the best interests of their opponents, it would be a lot harder to consider them enemies. 

Some folks say this is being soft. They say the other side should be crushed. But my contention is that this mindset just creates more enmity. That’s true both in individual relationships and in foreign policy. To really make progress in our world, we’re going to have to learn to live together. 

Benjamin Franklin famously let the American people know that our country was “a republic, if you can keep it.” So let’s all pray for each other – our enemies, our neighbors, our families, our country, and our world. Maybe then we’ll find a way to keep our republic. 

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